1.2 The Promise

Sydney sat stiffly in the chair waiting for her name to be called. She hated doctors. Hated the fact she couldn’t live without her checkups with the scientists. Hated the fact she was nothing more than a science experiment. She should never have agreed t do the show. She should never have dragged someone else into her nightmare existence. She looked over at Tain as he took her hand squeezing it before lifting it to his lips.

If she had refused she would never have met him. She never believed she would be the type to fall hopelessly and madly in love. Here she was clinging to him as if he held the secrets of the universe; although he just might hold the secrets she needed. He leaned over and whispered in her ear “it’s going to be alright.”

She tried to smile to swallow the fear that seemed to be choking her. She wanted to feel normal. To be the girl that wasn’t afraid of anything. She wanted to be the girl that had a quick comeback for anything. She was tired of being the girl that had trouble pulling herself out of bed every morning. She didn’t want to shiver in the sunshine or ache when she walked. The scientists told her it was normal. Normal for whom she wondered? She never felt this bad before but it kept getting worse especially in the last month or so. She jumped when the nurse called her name. She gave Tain a quick look silently begging him to come with her.

Standing he wrapped his arm around her as they followed the nurse. It had become increasingly worrisome to him to see her try and pretend she wasn’t exhausted all the time. He wanted the feisty girl he had met and fell in love with back not this shadow. Doctor Chu was an old family friend and Tain hoped that he would be able to give them some answers.

“Come in, come in” an elderly man said as they entered the examination room. “What brings you here today?”

Sydney had expected the Chinese doctor to speak with broken English but it was relief to find there would be no language barrier. A few times Tain had to translate things from either English to Chinese or Chinese to English but for the first time Sydney felt she was speaking with someone who actually cared about her.

Nodding the doctor had a nurse come in to draw blood. He stood nodding as he went to his next patient. Tain put a reassuring hand under her elbow helping her up “he will call when the test results are available.”

Sydney sighed. She had hoped they wouldn’t have to come back. She knew Tain was watching her as she stood unsteadily on her feet. The ever present dizziness swept through her turning right side up upside down. She felt her knees buckle beneath her as she crumpled to the floor. Through the ringing n her ears she heard Tain calling for help in Chinese she assumed. At least she thought that was what he was doing. He cradled her head in his lap. She swallowed several times as her stomach tried to purge itself of it’s meager contents she had managed to force down that morning.

Loud voices of too many people talking at once and the jostling of being lifted from the floor to a gurney caused her to close her eyes in the vain hope to blot it out. She opened her eyes crying out in panic “Tain?”

“I’m here,” he squeezed her hand “they’ll take good care of you.”

“Make the room stop spinning,” she pleaded clinching her eyes shut “I’m going to be sick.”

***

Sydney lay flat on the rough, wrinkled, white hospital sheets. It was all she could do. Any movement made the room revolve around her the the severe nausea would have crawling to the nearest bathroom or ringing for someone to come clean up her mess. It was all so humiliating. A tear trickled down her cheek. That was another annoying state of affairs the ever present tears. It was as if she wasn’t herself anymore. She hated being sick. Hated being weak. Hate being the weepy female. What the hell was wrong with her?

She clinched her eyes tight pretending to be asleep when the door began to open. Tain’s family had been awesome but shSe was tired of being gawked at even if they meant well by coming to see her. It was not how she wanted to meet them. Keeping her eyes closed she hoped whoever it was would simply go away.

Much to her chagrin she felt someone take her hand and start talking to her. She almost smiled recognizing the soothing voice of Tain’s mother and the more annoyed sounding sister. “Mom she’s asleep not in a coma.”

“I know dear.”

“Then why talk to her as if she were in a coma or something?” her daughter protested.

“I have my reasons.”

“Whatever mom,” there was the sound of shuffling before the door opened “I’m going to find Tain. Do you want anything?”

“I’ll be fine,” came the pleasant reply. When the door closed behind her daughter she turned to Sydney “now dear you can open your eyes and stop pretending to be asleep.”

Groaning in dismay “how did you know?” she asked looking at the older woman.

“I’m a mother dear. I know all the tricks” she patted Sydney’s hand “I know this is difficult for you especially so far away from your family and in a foreign country. But you’re not alone. Doctor Chu is the best. He’ll find what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong with me is I’m an experiment gone wrong” Sydney blinked back the ever ready tears “I’m sorry Mrs Sugihara I shouldn’t have dragged your son into this mess with me.”

“He loves you,” she said as if that explained everything.

“I know and that makes it worse” Sydney said attempting to ignore the fact her mother-in-law was wiping the tears from her face before they had a chance to dry.

“You love him too or you would not be concerned,” the older woman smiled down at her “that’s good A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.”

Sydney felt her lips twitch in amusement as her mother-in-law somehow always said just the right thing to cheer her up. “So I’m a flawed diamond,” she mused liking the analogy.

“You need to rest dear,” she advised her as she started tell Sydney a childhood story about Tain as a little boy and all the trouble he managed to get into. Sydney smiled as she listened to her mother-in-law describe how Tain disliked sharing his things whether it was his toys or the important people in his life.

“It’s amazing we get along so well,” she murmured “I never liked sharing either,” as she fell asleep.

***

The next time she opened her eyes she found Tain sitting in the chair beside her stroking her hand. “How do you feel?” he asked.

Frowning she realized for the first time that the room hand stopped revolving “better” she smiled “much better.”

“That’s good” Tain couldn’t hide the relief he felt after five days she was finally showing signs of improvement. Moving from the chair he sat on the edge of the bed “would you like to sit up?”

“Yes I’m tired of laying down,” she closed her eyes a moment as she adjusted to sitting up.

“Are you alright?” Tain peered into her face for any signs that she was going to be sick.

“I’m fine,” she said with determination to conquer the vertigo that swept through her.

“If you’re sure” he said a hint of doubt in his tone “the doctor wants to talk to us if you think you’re up to it.”

“I was wondering why he hadn’t been in here before” Sydney said feeling a little stronger as the dizziness past. Opening her eyes she held her hand out.

Taking her outstretched hand Tain kissed it saying “it’s going to be alright.”

“You can’t say that for sure,” she said somewhat irritated. She wasn’t interested in empty platitudes when she knew something was wrong. She could feel it. Before she could make any other comment Doctor Chu walked into the room. “How long do I have left?” she asked.

The room fell silent as everyone seemed to hold their breath. Picking up her file Doctor Chu appeared to reread the notes. He peered over his glasses at the young couple. Instead of answering her questions he asked one of his own “how much do you know about what the scientists did to you?”

Shaking her head Sydney whispered “I’m right then aren’t I? I am going to die…”

Hearing her Doctor Chu nodded “I’m sorry. Your body is slowly shutting down.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do to stop it?” Tain asked staring at the doctor squeezing her hand as if he needed a life preserver.

“I spoke with the scientists who worked on the resurrection project and they are aware of the flaw in their process. The flaw is somehow shutting your body down, kind of like a battery that slowly loses power.” Doctor Chu paused to let them absorb the news “there’s something else….”

“More there’s more” Tain shouted unable to contain his emotions any longer. “What more can there be? You just told me my wife is dying what else could there be?”

Sydney tugged on his hand until he looked down at her “Tain honey please calm down for me? Doctor Chu isn’t finished yet.” Swallowing convulsively he threw himself into the chair staring unseeing into space.

“You told me that you were on birth controls up until recently?” Doctor Chu asked watching Sydney nod “the scientist I spoke with informed that what you were taking was a new untested fertility treatment….”

Bringing her hands up to her mouth she tried to muffle the scream that rose from deep within her. “They were experimenting with me? They were supposed to be helping me not seeing what new horrors they could inflict me with.” Strong arms pulled her close as she sobbed.

“I regret to inform you that you are indeed pregnant…”

“So you’re telling me I’ll be having a litter and not just one baby aren’t you?” Sydney could feel anger bubbling up inside her.

“From the tests and ultra sounds there are three viable fetus…”

“Triplets?” Tain said feeling the blood rush from his head.

Staring at the doctor her dismay growing Sydney could read the answer to her question in the man’s eyes but she asked it out loud anyway. “You don’t think my body will be able to withstand the stress of having triplets, do you?”

Doctor Chu’s eyes darted to Tain taking in his despair. He had known the young man since he was a young boy. Had watched him grow up. The last thing he wanted to do was give him more bad news. “I’m sorry. I am suggesting terminating the pregnancy. It would add years to your life expectancy….”

“No,” Sydney said with a fierceness that surprised even her.

“But…” Tain stammered “you don’t even want kids….”

“There’s a difference between not wanting and killing them” she felt she was in a no win situation. While it was true she wasn’t the most motherly person around it wasn’t like she had completely ruled it out. She had known since the show her husband would want children eventually. She just thought it would be when she was ready a few years down the road by her choice. That wasn’t to be thank to scientist who thought of her as a lab experiment instead of a living breathing person. Looking towards Tain “I’m sorry I just can’t…I won’t. This is probably the only chance we’ll have to produce children.”

“You heard Doctor Chu. It’ll prolong your life…”

“He doesn’t know that for sure and I simply can’t terminate a life in the hopes it’ll prolong my own.” Shaking her she crossed her arms as if that would hold herself together. “Please don’t ask me to do that. I know I’m a selfish person but I hope I’m not that selfish what I’d put my life above someone elses.”

Turning to the doctor “what happens if she keeps the babies?”

“There could be complications. Her morning sickness is quite severe. There’s no guarantee she’ll carry to term. Her life expectancy will be significantly shorter then it would have been. Maybe another five or six years at most if she lives through the pregnancy.” Sighing loudly Doctor Chu shook his head “what those scientists did was unethical….”

“Unethical,” Sydney screamed “that’s a laugh. They were treating me like a damn experiment. They did it because they could. Someone wondered what if so they did and to hell with the consequences.” Leaning back she continued a little more calmly “it doesn’t matter now. The damage is done. The problem now is what we do about it.”

“If your’re positive about keeping the babies” Doctor Chu waited watching Sydney nod in confirmation before continuing “then I would suggest you see a colleague of mine who specializes in difficult pregnancies. I can get you into the clinic to see him. It will be expensive….”

“Don’t worry about the cost,” Tain told him “I want my wife to have the best care available.”

“Alright” Doctor Chu nodded “I’ll make the call and get things arranged to transfer you to Sunset Valley under his care. He’ll no doubt put you on strict bed rest.”

“For the entire pregnancy?” Sydney asked in horror “that’s…that’s…”

“The best thing for you and the babies,” Tain finished for her taking her hand.

Groaning she rolled her eyes at him but said no more in protest. “Can I at least have a sketch book to draw on while I’m incarcerated?”

“Of course I’ll get you anything you want” Tain told her willing to give her whatever she wanted to help her through this. Turning to Doctor Chu he asked “can we specify the care she receives and who provides it?”

“That would be a very wise precaution to take. We wouldn’t want any of the scientist involved with the resurrection project to having anything to do with her care.”

“Please don’t let them anywhere near me. They’ve done enough damage…”

Tapping a pen to his lips Doctor Chu advised “you should see a lawyer to check that the scientists don’t hold any rights to her medical care.”

Swallowing loudly Tain nodded “I hadn’t thought of that.” Kissing Sydney’s hand Tain stood up “I’m going to talk to my Uncle and see if I can use the family lawyer to look into this. I’d prefer to have this all taken are of before we leave China.”

***

Tain handed Sydney two capsules “what are these for?” she asked looking at them.

“They’re sedatives. Doctor Chu gave them tome instructing me to be sure you took them a half hour before boarding the plane,” he explained.

“I don’t need them,” she pushed his hand away “sedatives aren’t good for the babies.”

“Neither is stress,” he continued.

“I’m not afraid of flying” Sydney turned her gaze towards the waiting plane “I like flying.”

“Syd please,” he held the pills out to her again “don’t be difficult. Just take them.”

“No” she said moving to get a better view of the planes taxiing down the runway.

Following her Tain demanded “sit down Sydney.”

“I’m not an invalid,” she protested shaking his hand off.

“You are whether you think so or not,” Tain shouted back losing patience with her.

Her eyes widened before narrowing into slits as her anger boiled over. She held her hand out in silent fury. He dropped the sedatives into her waiting hand then handed her a bottle of expensive airport water. Without taking her eyes from the window she tossed the pills back and swallowed them. Purposefully she moved away from Tain and sat down making sure there wasn’t a seat available for him to sit anywhere near her. She could feel his eyes following her, knew he was concerned about her but she would not be treated like an invalid. The sooner he got used to that the better.

Tain grimly watched his wife walk away from him. He was aware he may have won the skirmish but he may have lost the battle. He sat stonily down beside their bags wishing he hadn’t said what he did. What else could he have done? She didn’t know her limitations. She needed him to tell her. To set the limits. It’s not like this was easy for him either. He had hopes and dreams too. A job he enjoyed that he’d given up to be with her in Sunset Valley. Then there was the ever impending cloud of doom hanging over them. With each passing day their time together was that much shorter.

***

The months passed in an endless succession of days. Tempers were frayed as small annoyances festered into arguments. They hardly spoke to each other when Tain came to visit like clock work every day. “Why do you come?” Sydney asked eventually growing tired of the monotony.

“I …” releasing a pent up breath he got up and passed several steps to look out the window. “Whether you believe this or not I love you. I vowed to love you in sickness and in health.”

“For better or for worse,” Sydney chimed in “Tain I’m scared …” He turned from the window. She held her hand out to him and slowly he walked over and took her hand in his. “I love you too.” She let him pull her close. She let herself be comforted in his arms. Listening to his steady heart beat in his chest she sighed “I wanted to push you away…”

“I know,” he said as she pulled back to look at him in astonishment “I almost let you.”

“I’m sorry I should never have dragged you into this. I should have asked what you wanted instead of making a unilateral decision.” She wiped a tear away annoyed at it’s presence “I hate being pregnant.” She laughed as she heard Tain chuckle softly.

“At least you only have to do it once,” he told her grinning as she grimaced at him.

“Small consolation since I’m having a damn litter. People aren’t made to have litters” she complained.

“You’re not the first person to have triplets,” he told her kissing her nose.

“I know I know,” she sighed “will you be able to handle them all on your own?”

Nodding Tain looked her straight in the eye “I don’t see why not. My mom raised two on her own. What’s one more?”

Taking his hand “promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me that you won’t let those scientists anywhere near our kids.”

Tain nodded saying “of course not honey. Those scientists will never touch our kids.”

“Good,” she looked away biting her lip as she turned back to him “even if they inherit my genetic flaw?” she asked.

“They won’t” he insisted.

“Promise me.”

“I promise,” he told her “you know the doctors are positive that the genetic flaw isn’t inheritable.”

“They don’t know that for sure since I’m the first person to have it. There’s no guarantee.”

“I know it’s just that I don’t want to think about my children having such a short lifespan…” He looked away as he thought of something. Something he knew Sydney would hate him for if she knew. The scientists were the only ones who knew what they did to manipulate her DNA her genetics. What if they found a way to correct their mistake? What if….

Turning his face towards her holding his face between her palms Sydney said as if sensing what he was thinking “you promised.” She held his face firm until he murmured “I promise.” Smiling she brought her lips to his whispering “good. Don’t forget.”